Perfect Love

I have climbed the platform of my ambition. The flight of steps leads toward my dreams and aspirations. I know for sure this is the place God has called me to. Every path has led in this direction. Every counsel has affirmed His plan. Every path has led in this direction. Every counsel has affirmed His plan. Friends have climbed steps with me. Others have prayed me up from down below.

Finally, I am at the top and I can see the unfolding vista of God's design. This is not the end, but the first of many platforms to come. It has taken so long to climb this one, and I get to the top with aching muscles, a little out of breath. But fear has climbed with me. He is laughing at my aches and pains. He says that I should be in better shape if I'm going to get to the next platform. He makes me feel worthless. He leans into my weakness and pushes every button.

I stand at the top of my calling, listening tho the doubts that surround me. I decided to talk it through. Ask a few more people. Weigh each fear and discuss the implications. Maybe I should do more research. Maybe I don't deserve this now. Maybe I should go back down the steps and rethink the whole thing. Fear has raised some good issues.

But a gentle voice calls to me. It is the most confident voice I have ever heard. He is not impatient. He is not flustered. I sounds like He is speaking to me through a smile. He is calm and assured. He is strong and persuasive.

Perfect love yells to me, "(Erin), you are tied on. I promised. This is the place I have led you to. This is exactly the right time. You are not a weak-willed woman anymore because you are desperate for Me. Tell fear to step aside. Trust Me. I have you. Now, shut up and jump."


Jesus, you have me...my heart is yours and I will not be shaken.

HE is in control....

WELL long time- so my last post being about exams....HA!
All of my exams have been really great! Except one- HUGE
prayer request!

So friday the 12th I go to take my last final- I was feeling
so confident and excited to be done with this semester. Well,
I go to find it on my online call and it's not there! Gone!
Come to find out I was suppose to take it the friday before on
the 5th. What professor has an exam 2 weeks before exam week?
AHHH! Anyways, please please please pray for me about this...
it's a very sticky situation...but I have peace and I know that
God is in control.

exams

So final exams of my Senior year are quickly approaching...two weeks from now I will
be done with my Fall semester of Senior year! One of my professors had this poem on our final exam page for the class and I had to share it...

'Twas the night before finals,

and all through the college,

the students were praying

for last minute knowledge.

Most were quite sleepy,

but none touched their beds,

while visions of essays

danced in their heads.

out in the taverns,

a few were still drinking,

and hoping that liquor

would loosen their thinking.

In my room, I had been pacing,

and dreading exams

I soon would be facing.

My roommate was speechless,

her nose in her books,

and my comments to her

drew unfriendly looks.

I drained all the coffee,

and brewed a new pot,

no longer caring

that my nerves were all shot.

I stared at my notes,

but my thoughts were muddy,

My eyes went ablur,

I just couldn't study.

"Some pizza might help,"

I said with a shiver,

But each place I called

refused to deliver.

I'd nearly concluded

that life was too cruel,

with futures depending

on grades had in school.

When all of a sudden,

our door opened wide,

and Patron Saint Put-It-Off

ambled inside.

His spirit was careless,

his manner was mellow,

all of a sudden he started to bellow.

"On Cliff notes, on Crib notes,

on last year's exams,

on wing-it and sling-it,

and last minute crams!"

His message delivered,

he vanished from sight.

But we heard him laughing

outside in the night.

Your teachers have pegged you,

so just do your best.

HAPPY FINALS TO ALL,

and TO ALL A GOOD TEST.


so if you are reading this and have an exam to take....GOOD LUCK!

Tame It!

Gross right? I have never actually thought a tongue was so gross...
Yesterday in my time with the Lord I felt led to start reading James,
so today I continued reading...I know its a short book, but truly
has soooo much information in it. Whoa! Anyway, I began reading in
Chapter 3, which talks about taming your tongue. Here is a small
peek, "the tongue is a small part or the body, but it makes great
boasts." WHAT?!?!?! I was like, HOLD UP a minute...but man is it
so incredibly true. A tongue is this ugly flap of I don't even know
that helps you pronounce words, makes faces, sound out things, make
sounds, eat, etc. but it is also a thing that lets mean words be said,
boast about yourself, your job, etc... you get what I'm saying.
Read some more..."It corrupts the whole, get that WHOLE, person, sets
the whole course of one's life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell."
WHOA! more..."...but no one can tame the tongue...It is a restless evil, full
of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, AND with it we
curse human beings, who have been made in God's likeness."
Can I throw up yet?
Then it goes on to explain even more..."Can both fresh water and salt water
flow from the same spring?" Heck to the no...

I am flabbergasted! haha fun word, but for real- what comes out of your mouth
after you leave church, eating with the family, around friends, at work,
speaking to one you may not like so much...it's something to think about
that's for sure! I am so convicted by this piece of scripture today.
I have to ask myself this question- is my tongue praising God my Maker
in one setting and then in another setting bashing his loved children
that HE made from his own likeness?

I hope you get my heart here...I have no room to judge at all and man,
whether you have a tongue that spits out ugliness or hatred or judgement
or whatever else you can spit out...think about this scripture.

Beautiful

- Do you think I'm Beautiful? (by: Angela Thomas)

Beautiful
God, I'm struggling here.
I believe that You said it, but did You really mean it about me?
Good grief, You see me in the shower, for heaven's sake.
Beautiful is not the first word that would pop into my head.
Average might be the word I'd use. Common. Ordinary.
But not beautiful.
If anyone knows the truth about this body, it's You. Every jiggle and wiggle. Every sag and bag. You witness my attempts to harness it all up and suck it all in. You see me first thing in the morning every single day.
And beyond my body, there is my heart. Again, beautiful doesn't really come to mind here either. Flawed. Inconsistent. Petty. Insecure. All those words seem to speak the truth that hides inside me.
How could You call me beautiful?
Are You sure? I know You are God and of course You're sure, but maybe You had some poetic imagery in mind. Maybe You were speaking in broad terms about the beauty of Your creation. Did you really think of me when You said, "The king is enthralled with your beauty"?
I keep hearing these whispers in my head,"Don't believe it, don't believe all of it. Sounds too good to be true. Could be like the guy who said I was beautiful but forgot to call me back. He only meant it in the moment, not for real."
Believing. It seems to be the key to the whole deal with You. I desperately want to believe but unbelief interrupts my effort. Doubts come to me. Skepticism speaks to me. Sometimes I hear what others haven't said about me more loudly than I can hear You. I have believed in You almost all my life, so why does unbelief still whisper to me? Why am I prone to incline my head and listen?

- great book- liked the passage

numbered

We hear so often the quote, "Live each day as your last..."

What do you think about that? When you hear it, what is your
response? Do you even think twice about it?

It hit me today- a friend text me and asked me to keep her
family in my prayers- my response was, "Yeah, whats up?"
Her response: well...my Daddy was running this morning
and had a heart attack and died on the side of the road."

I cannot even explain what I was thinking- but it hit me
square in the face- how do I live my days, bc I sure do
not know when it is my time... I live thinking that I will
be here until I am in my 90s...old, frail, sitting at home
watching soaps...Blech! But, back on topic- saying I love you
can be awkward sometimes, but God calls us to LOVE others as
ourselves. I get so caught up in, oh this is awkward so I just
wont say it, i'll just write it or text it- DUMB!DUMB! DUMB!
Show it, say it, and do it- if they think it's weird- oh well
it's a command!

So anyway- I am pretty shaken up about this whole thing-
The funeral is Sat. so I will be there for most of the
afternoon. Please if you are reading this, lift up the
Davenport family, with peace poured over them and to
see God's unfailing and everlasting love....

I love you guys! (hahahah)

smack!!!!!

Tuesday night, history was made right before my eyes. As we all know Obama was elected as our next President of the United States.
I'm not going to lie- I felt sick to my stomach (no joke) I literally felt like I was going to throw up. I was sitting at dinner with some friends with my eyes glued to the tv. BOOM- the number went above 270 and there was a cheer in the restaurant. My heart went into my throat...

Being frustrated and with many mixed emotions about what is to come in the next 4 years- I know that God is in control. I went home and began to read the book, Desiring God, by John Piper. I'm not far along at all, but right when I picked it up- God had something to say to me.

"Remember the former things, those of long ago;
I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me.

I make known the end from the beginning,
from ancient times, what is still to come.
I say: My purpose will stand,
and I will do all that I please."
-Isaiah 46:9-10

I went to bed feeling better...

rock my socks off....

So this morning I was finishing the book Captivating, by John and Stasi Eldredge. I was on the last page of the book and anxious to be done with it. (I love the feeling of being done with one book and ready to start another). Anyway, Stasi is making a point by looking at a film, Anna and the King. This is what was wrote, "The setting is in the nineteenth-century Siam, a tiny but beautiful Asian country still in the grips of its ancient past. Anna, an English woman living in Siam as s tutor to the king's many offspring, has helped King Mangkut prepare for a state dinner. He wants to show the British that his country is ready to enter into the affairs of the world, so the dinner is given in the English style-silverware, tablecloths, candlelight, and, at the end of the meal, ballroom dancing. When the feast is over and it comes time for the first dance, the king stands and extends his hand to Anna. He invites her to dance with him. He fixes hes gaze upon her and is distracted by nothing and no one else. He waits for her response. She is clearly surprised, taken back, but has the grace to respond and stand. As the walk past the long table, the king's eyes never stray from hers, a smile playing on his lips. Others are upset that he has chosen her. Some watch with contempt, others with pleasure. It is of no consequence to the king or to Anna. Anna came to the ball prepared. She was beautiful in a striking gown that shimmered like starlight. She spent hours getting herself ready- her hair, her dress, her HEART. As they reach the dance floor, Anna expresses her fear of dancing with the King before the eyes of others. "We wouldn't want to end up in a heap," she says. His answer to her questioning heart? "I am King. I will lead." Jesus is extending his hand to you. He is inviting you to dance with him. He asks, "May I have this dance...every day of your life?" His gaze is fixed on you. He is captivated by your beauty. He is smiling. He cares nothing of the opinion of others. He is standing. He will lead. He waits for your response."

My lover spoke and said to me,
"Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, and come with me." (Song 2:10)

5K anyone????

So I am starting to train for my first 5K and half marathon! I am going to do the disney princess because it is only girls and guys can't smoke you...(hence the picture) I figured since volleyball is over and I don't want to run inside, then why not train outside...for a 5K. I mean, before I honestly thought, who in their right mind would want to run outside for hours (1/2 marathon) because it will take me hours...lol but really...so I decided (after a friend driving me crazy about it) to try it out. So here goes day 1...OFF day!

ha ha gotta love training schedules! I'll catch you up on the rest of the week...when I'm actually training!

...and I will allure her

So as we can all tell from my last post- a little upset, woe is me, complaining a tad much, over exaggerating, anything and everything else...well I have thought about it a lot. Reflecting on life, being in the word this week has led me back over and over again to 1 Peter 3:3-5- Inner beauty being the main theme. Good, great, love it- God speaks through that verse more than I could imagine. So as I am being led to this piece of scripture, I am also led to read the book Captivating, by Stasi Eldridge. Great book! I read is about 2.5 years ago and times in between, but this time I am really reading it. lol...It led me to a couple verses in Hosea, specifically 2:6-7, and 2:14-"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her." Gesh- how amazing is this- The God of the universe, our maker, lover, best friend- will allure me (meaning to attract or charm) and speak tenderly- sweetly, lovingly...I don't know why this blows me away to the extent that it does, but I love it. Kinda cheesy, but I have this set time during my day, everyday, where I have what I know call DQ time. Daily questions- they are questions that I hear or think of through reading, studying the word, etc. that I can and need to ask myself daily. The ones I am currently thinking through and keeping in front of me are- Asking Jesus to she me my beauty...- Jesus, how are you romancing me right now?- and God, what do you see in me?

single friends dwindling OR friends doubling????

It's so hard to think about, to live a life of singleness, be consumed by almost everyone around you in relationships, getting engaged, married, having babies- it's hard- no doubt. It's me right now. I'm trying to capture the moment...I have to an extent, but am I content? I mean- I long to be in a relationship, I see it all around me: people in love, families going around town, being pregnant... I love it. I want it- I'll get it, just not right now. I understand that, but for some reason it is so hard to let it go. "Put it in God's hands" ok- and when you don't see anything happen for a while and another couple gets married- here it comes again... CONGRATS! woo... why is it so hard? I just want to be content with where I am now, what God has called me to do right now, and live it up- our days are numbered. It's a "fun" game right- sometimes I don't like playing.

Family Reunion!!!!

Man, last Sunday we had a family reunion at my Aunt and Uncle's house in Dansville. It is not far from Rochester, where I went for my cousins wedding and we went out there because my grandparents (on Dads side) were leaving to come back to Fl the next day! It was kind of a emotional shock to me though. As we are all sitting there enjoying the company, my Grandma called me to come sit with her on the couch. Now I have a huge family, 6 aunts and uncles on both sides, so there were a ton of people there. My Grandma who is now I think 80, went through all of her photos of her kids (so my Dad) when she was home. She sat there and went through them all with me and was handing the ones of my dad for me to keep. I couldn't understand why she was doing this, and she said, "I am coming to the end of my road, so I wanted to get these out so you have them." I cannot express what went through my head. The pics are pretty funny though! We will just say, you learn a lot about your family as you go through pics. Ill post some soon...

Soooooooo Good!

Oh man- I know I'm in Rochester, NY when I have some good ole Country Sweet. I am not kidding you- they have the absolute best chicken wings with the most amazing sauce you have ever put in your mouth. GOODNESS!!!!! It is a must every time we come to visit family here- today we literally got off the airplane and literally went directly to the restaurant. My mouth is salivating even thinking about it...YUM!