ramblings from my heart and mind

{On a constant journey with the Lord-striving to glorify him with everything I am-love others the way Christ has and continues to love me-determined to be the best daughter, friend, mentor, and individual I can be}

Monday, February 25, 2013

{the sting}

bite vs. sting

a sting and a bite both hurt initially
but the bite can be delishiously 
whereas a sting may be suspiciously

a bite and a sting are both stolen
the sting can be as pollen
whereas the bite is fallen
neither satisfying...

a sting and a bite both are denying
but the bite can be truly trying
and the sting then is more subsiding
that latter as the better...

a bite and a sting are both means of letters
the sting is already in the setter
but the bite is just metter

work is satisfying 
secret but not stolen
truly professional, I'm not denying
and in the letters
we find words...

the bite is the outcome of the words
the sting is each of the words

the aftereffect does not equal destruction
unless you let it, that is

{You're Not Alone}

Meredith Andrews, You're Not Alone

I search for love, when the night came, 
And it closed in, I was alone, 
But you found me, where I was hiding, 
And now I'll never ever be the same, 
It was the sweetest voice, 
That called my name saying

You're not alone, For I am here, 
Let me wipe away your every fear, 
My love I've never left your side, 
I have seen you through the darkest night, 
And I'm the one who's loved you all your life, 
All of your life

You cry your self to sleep, cause the hurt is real, 
And the pain cuts deep, all hope seems lost, 
With heartache your closest friend, 
And everyone else long gone, 
You've had to face the music on your own, 
But there is a sweeter song that calls you home saying

You're not alone, For I am here, 
Let me wipe away your every tear, 
My love I've never left your side, 
I have seen you through the darkest night, 
And I'm the one who's loved you all your life, 
All your life

Faithful and true, Forever, 
Oh my love will carry you

You're not alone, For I, I am here, 
Let me wipe away your every fear
Oh yeah, My love I've never left your side, 
I have seen you through the darkest night, 
Your darkest night, 
And I'm the one who's loved you all your life, 
All of your life

More lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/m/meredith_andrews/

Monday, February 11, 2013

{in fear...nasty thing}

“Who wants to live in fear?” my friend asks…my obvious response is, “nope, not me!” yet it is exactly where I find myself right now. I grasp that fear is not of the Lord and in all reality the enemy uses it in a mighty way to create a strain on something that is good and of the Lord. 
The definition of fear is, “the feeling of anxiety; frightening thought; reverence; and worry” some synonyms include: terror, dread, horror, fright, panic, trepidation and apprehension. Can anyone tell me which of those are feelings from the Lord? Exactly, what I thought…none. Even the realization of this “living in fear” is fearful and something I want to reject and justify, but in all actuality the Lord has just given me the peace I need for today. There are many scriptures on peace and provision, some I will mention have helped me remember His truths and promises now: Psalm 68:9-10, Isaiah 42:16, Isaiah 26:3-4 and Matthew 6: 25-34.
I don’t want to live in a pocket of fear. It creates a turmoil inside of me that feels like a constant battle between right and wrong. The conclusion that I have come to at this time is that I know and can honestly say that the Lord has not told me "no". There is nothing about the situation that creates red flags or is sinful at this point, other then the fear I am letting myself be entangled in.

2 Peter 2:19-21

English Standard Version (ESV)
19 They promise them freedom, but they themselves are slavesa of corruption. For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved.20 For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world through the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. 21 For it would have been better for them never to have known the way of righteousness than after knowing it to turn back from the holy commandment delivered to them.

Here, Peter is writing to those of the faith and describes some of the truths being taught by others. In chapter 2 he beings by acknowledging false prophets and teachers in the area bringing heresies and destruction to those who follow it. Once we accept Jesus into our hearts, we are freed from the entanglements of sin (fear, insecurities, and so on), but our flesh is our own corruption due to the fall. Our hope we can find in this, is the Lord’s forgiveness and grace, which leads to peace and security after repentance and surrender.

In new situations our first reaction is to fear…it is the unknown that drives us to this place of discontentment. Yet, we are called to be content with where the Lord has us at this present time. I so often find myself living in thought of the future and the truth is that- the Lord does not give us the peace and direction for even tomorrow (most of the time). He does when we seek Him for that day…the present day. So, why rush to understand something that He himself has given you peace for in the today? 
Like I said before, I can honestly say that I have no red flags to move forward that are from the Lord. It is all from me! That is in return saying that I would desire what I think is my good (which can and does lead to destruction) rather then the Lord’s good. Who would you want to guide you?
I’m going to put this out there so I can look back on it and remember, so take this as a statement and hold me to it…(I think I can ask you to do that)- I am fearful of: it being right, of being moved from what I have known for so long (singleness), letting go, allowing someone “in”, acceptance from others, others thoughts, thinking I’m crazy and to much work, heart break, and honestly I could go on, but I am making myself sick to think of all of this, when I just spent the last page stating why not to fear.

So, I will stop…take a breath…speak the Lord’s promises into my heart…smile…thank Him for today…and by joyful.

This is where He has me right now and what is in front of me, so as I do with almost everything else- Go For IT in surrender and direction from the Lord! It could be something that glorifies the Lord to a great measure. If I say that I exist to glorify the Lord, then I need to stop the stinkin fear! 

Monday, January 14, 2013

{The Gospel}

Strong words by Tim Keller...love the truth in this 

{hearts desire}

Lord enable me to become absolutely diligent in spending daily time with you, to be fervent in prayer with all honesty, love and adoration. That I would strive to speak boldly with compassion and discernment. Praying and seeking wisdom and knowledge, but not to come off to others as "to good". May I be and remain broken before you Lord, and ask for encounters with you that bring daily transformation. Lord, I believe and trust that you will and have begun doing this in me. I lay my life down before you...you have my heart

Thursday, January 10, 2013


It is safe to say, I am learning a lot right now...

No, I wouldn't change it for anything- even if you told me that it would make everything easier and maybe even make sense. I think we all have moments where we wish we knew why something was happening or why we are going through a trial. Here's the deal- we don't need to know, when we know and believe in our hearts that God is sovereign and our provider. 

Did you catch that???

GOD IS SOVEREIGN (supreme, preeminent, above all, with all power) 

I have to remind myself of this daily. Often, many times throughout. It is something I know, yet strive to believe and trust. 

One of my favorite things to do is sit down with women and hear their stories. The story of grace in their life- How Jesus chose them, captured their heart, romanced them, and called them to Him...it's the pursuit- how perfect it is. I see God's sovereignty daily, no joke there. Another thing I love is being able to recognize God's movement in and through others lives...my goodness, it brings me to tears when I see Him working even in the slightest way. 

I have been blessed with some pretty amazing friends and could not be (well, could be) more thankful for them and my family. I would consider myself a passionate protective friend, sometimes to a fault-but I am learning. Isn't that amazing... we continue to learn-I never want to stop learning, honestly. 

In saying that- there are many times I become over protective and speak quickly without really taking the time to think and process. I don't want to make excuses for myself blaming it on the fact that I am protective and want what God's best is for them, so I won't, but I am realizing this about myself...with help :) I'm beyond thankful for learning situations, because I know this is absolutely a work of the Lord and He is transforming me more into his likeness. I wouldn't want anything different, but it's not easy. Realizing these things I go to the automatic thought of- "Oh no, I hurt them"

I have been learning and studying a lot about becoming a woman of a gentle and quiet spirit. It is not my first instinct; which is not a bad thing, but it is something I really feel the Lord has directed me to pursue- and so I go... I have a competitive nature- one that wants to do well at tasks set before me and I have learned so much through that. I really believe I have found a lot of strength and the ability to persevere because of that, but there are other characteristics that I desire to have as well. 

So, think about it...what characteristic do you possess, and how do you desire to grow in those and change in them as well?

-Help me out now...what do you think it means to be a woman of a gentle and quiet spirit? 
-When you see this in others, what is it that draws you to that conclusion? 

My prayer is this- that I would hold fast to 1 Peter 3:3-4 "Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." Lord, lead me...I want to learn

Tuesday, January 8, 2013


It has been forever and trust me I have a good reason...

When I started seminary first of all my schedule went all crazy and I got ridiculously busy...second, I was not able to sign into my blog because the new school email messed with the email associated with my blog and all sorts of mess happened.

So, tonight as I am sitting here just finished my devo time I decided to figure this out because so much has been going on that I wanted to write again :)

Needless to say, I am excited to be back- we will see how frequently I can get on and actually write because I will become a hermit this coming semester, but Hey! let's test it out...

This is something I wrote and realized the other day- it is more for a friend (really two friends) but why not share it without getting specific-

Because God knows and understands ALL and ALL about 
where you are: in life; in thoughts, etc. we are led to a place
 in Him at times where He literally wants us to just ask
 questions and submit to Him in that way. You are learning about
 patience and submission- He is NOT silent, but He IS listening
 to you patiently with ALL understanding of ALL of your questions. 
He is not ready to answer your cry yet, BUT when He does, 
it will be bold and strong, maybe even loud. You will know and at that 
time your response will be repentance, surrender, and praise to Him.
 Rest in that- you don't NEED to understand it. 
-EGD 1-6-13

Praying and Believing God for BIG things this year