{Things that put a smile on my face}

If I am honest, this week has been one of the worst weeks I've had in a while...emotionally, physically, and spiritually. More medical issues arise and the frustration lies in having a multitude of symptoms that all point to one thing specifically and yet, the diagnosis of that one things that encapsulates all of those symptoms comes up negative...What the crap?!?! To say the least, it has been a couple days of tears, frustration, confusion, and hopelessness. I know that all sounds horrible, BUT I am just stating how I feel, the facts...I can't even lead you to think that I have it all together in anyway, bc that is extremely far from the truth. I write about this, not so you feel bad...really, I write to try and clear my head, to get it all out, and maybe one day I can help someone else go through something similar- which I earnestly pray no one has to go through this...I was thinking as I am sitting here scrolling through pinterest :) follow me http://pinterest.com/eringari9/ if you would like...anyway, I was thinking about my attitude and thoughts...how depressing and bland they are and decided to post about things I am loving right now...to give me a smile.

Here Goes....

1. I am loving the color....MUSTARD YELLOW I don't really know why this obsession started, but it is clear and if you talk to me in person for more than a couple minutes you would know it. I think some of my friends get annoyed when they hear..."Ohhh, it's mustard yellow!"
2. Panera's Green Tea -it is so stinking gooood!
3. Pinterest...now I know this is on about 99% of women's favorite pages, but seriously...THE best idea ever!                -Go Here to follow me
4. My Bible...beyond thankful to be able to freely and openly read scripture wherever and whenever I want. I love flipping through the pages and reading the commentary I have written and what I have been taught...loving that the Lord is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent! His word is living and active!
5. The song: Always by Kristian Stanfill

       6. Quinoa- if you are not familiar with this grain....you need to be!

        7. Psalm 90:14 "Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,

that we may rejoice and be glad all our days."

                                                    (Psalm 90:14 ESV)

        8. Journaling- I love being about to write and write and write some more...how refreshing!

        9. Instagram :)  ohhhh it is so much fun!!!!!! I love photography

                      

       10. Lemons and Limes I can't get enough....weird, I am well aware

I think that is enough for now... reply and tell me some things that are making you smile today. I would really love to read!!!!  

           Oh and one more...

                    You know there is a problem when your Dr. orders you to get some sun exposure :) No problemo with me!!!!!

Ok, but really write me back and tell me what you are loving!

{reason to sing}

When the pieces seem to shatter
To gather off the floor
And all that seems to matter
Is that I don’t feel you anymore
No I don’t feel you anymore

I need a reason to sing
I need a reason to sing
I need to know that You’re still holding
The whole world in Your hands
I need a reason to sing

When I’m overcome by fear
And I hate everything I know
If this waiting lasts forever
I’m afraid I might let go
I’m afraid I might let go
Oh Oh Oh

I need a reason to sing
I need a reason to sing
I need to know that You’re still holding
The whole world in Your hands
I need a reason to sing

Yeah

Will there be a victory
Will You sing it over me now
Oh
Your peace is the melody
You sing it over me now
Oh Lord
Will there be a victory
Will You sing it over me now
Oh Lord
Your peace is the melody
You sing it over me now

I need a reason to sing
I need a reason to sing
I need to know that You’re still holding
The whole world in Your hands
That is a reason to sing

{For Father's Day and everyday}

On Mother's day I wrote a poem for Mom, but today I wanted to do something different. I am going to do a list of 10 things I love about my Fajah :) So, here goes (In no particular order):

1. He recognizes when I: cut my hair, put on make-up, and/or dress up  
             - Dad always takes the time to compliment me when I do something a little different. He loves my hair short (which I don't prefer), notices when I put on jewelry and/or make-up, and every time I wear more than sports clothes or jeans and a shirt- He tells me I am beautiful! So special...


2. He finds different ways to encourage me
             - He knows kind words go a long way and understands that even a hug speaks huge measures


3. Tells me he loves me at least once a day
             - I am so spoiled with this relationship I have with my Dad. Even when things are a little frustrating and I am being irritable, He looks beyond that and says those three words...143


4. Dad gives THE best hugs
             - You know the hug I am talking about...it's the hug where you can put your head on his chest and it fits just perfectly...it's the hug where you know nothing can separate it...the hug where you feel safe...yep, that hug :)


5. Watches and sometimes enjoys movies he wouldn't normally watch
              -Yes, I am mostly talking about those wonderful chick flicks...but, we also love a great comedy...Mrs. Doubtfire is one of our old time favorties...He does AWESOME impressions too..."Heeellllloooooooo, my precious" 


6. Loves sports
                -We love watching sports together...even if we like rival teams :)  He brought me up a Yankee and a Florida Gator...now his team is the Rays....it makes for fun competition


7. Is my BIGGEST fan
               -In everything I do whether sports, school, speaking, etc. He shows me more support than I deserve. 


8. He WANTS to spend time with me
                -I am so thankful to have a father that desires to have a good relationship with me. He wants to know what is going on in my life and whether He thinks I am making a good or unsure decision, He is there to support me and encourage me through.

9. He is a great example of a Father, Husband, and Best Friend
                -I tell Dad pretty much every Father's Day that I desire to marry someone who has similar characteristics, personality, and love that He shows all the time. Having the example of my parents marriage is one of the things in my life I am incredibly thankful for. They enjoy each other so much...I hope one day I can like someone as much as I love someone, like they do.

10. He is not always so serious
                -One thing I will always remember is to have fun...Dad makes this a part of every single day, even when he is hurting, sick, or stressed. We have jokes that only he and I know...He has taught me about sarcasm and shows it daily :)

I love my Dad

Two of my Favorite People (Fajah and Poppa) 

flashback

Recently I have been reminiscing an awful lot about my time with my Grandpa (Poppa). We had such a special relationship and I miss him dearly...this is a post I found today that I wrote exactly 1 day after he passed away...

Oh my where to begin...I guess saying it is finally Erin is a good start :)
Yes, I am the "teacher" and crazy addicted to sports and pretty much any athletic "thing"I can get my hand on...Kristin did such a nice job introducing the three of us, but I want to be sure to state that she is awesome! So is Suz, no doubt! I feel so honored to live life with these two girls. Like Kristin said, we met in college and have continued a friendship ever since with the roller coaster inside each I am sure...Anyway-

I have to be ridiculously honest right now and tell you that I am hurting more than I ever have. KT said that I could say everything I was feeling because no one reads this anyway and then says...you never know, it may help someone...HA she makes me laugh!

So, just to put you into perspective, My sweet Poppa passed away last night exactly 24 hours from when I am typing this (WEIRD!!!!!), anyway, he is the only Grandpa I have ever had and I was so close to him. This is also the first death of the family which makes this ever so confusing and painful for me. He leaves behind so much family and so many amazing memories. But there is something so much more in is precious life we were so blessed to share with him- stay with me here, my mind is going in all sorts of directions...

KT told you (whoever YOU are) that we have been studying the "love" chapter...1 Corinthians 13. I think I can speak for us all and say that we have been constantly dumbfounded maybe a better word would be wrecked by this piece of scripture. It has a world of meaning behind it and the Lord has been so sweet as to share another meaning of Love with us. As we have been walking through verse after verse we are continually reminded that love is a choice, it is so much more than an emotion, it is a lifestyle, an understanding, a trust, gosh I could go on forever....but LOVE can be defined and understood in sooooo many ways...

From this past week with Thanksgiving in between I cannot even begin to explain the emotions running through my head...spending this last holiday with my Poppa was one I will never forget. But, I have a question for you......What does love mean to you? ........think about it, it is not an easy answer.....The Lord has shown me love in such a new way in the past couple hours.
I want to share a picture with you that I took just days ago... (my Grandpa holding my Grandmas hand)

Now easily this could be just a picture, and to you it probably is...who am I kidding, but can't this be an amazing picture of love? Sure my Grandparents had arguments and bickered, but my goodness they were married for 63 years!!!!!! Talk about love never ending, being patient, not being envied, but being joyful...I asked my Poppa the other day, just this past Wednesday what his favorite memory was...without having to think more than 5 seconds he said, the day I married your Grandmother. Precious....but how much more exciting would it have been if he said, the day I accepted Jesus? Now, I will tell you that he definitely knew God, but I will also tell you that I am pretty sure the relationship Jesus so graciously offers was not taken from my Poppa. Saturday evening I had the opportunity to hold my Poppa's hand for a good 45 minutes and I sat and told him everything about my Jesus that I could. While looking at my Poppa and praying for him, crying out for him for peace and comfort, I was so incredibly convicted...convicted because I hadn't really taken the opportunity until that point to literally talk to him about what I hold highest in my life (so I say). Yes, actions speak louder than words, and he knew that I was a believer and held my relationship with Jesus very high in my life, but if I am truly IN LOVE, passionate, and following Jesus this shouldn't have been the first time I was vocalizing my faith. I don't know what my Poppa heard when I was telling him about the greatest gift ever and about the transformation of my life, but I do believe I did what we are so called to do, I shared Jesus with him...the important part for me to understand and believe is that, I do not hold his salvation in my hands, I have no saving power (thank goodness, right!) but seriously....it was amazing! I felt ridiculously silly talking and crying to my big gentle giant of a grandpa sleeping with oxygen pumping constantly, but I shared the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. Enough said.

As I was getting ready to drive home that night, one of my Aunts asked me to pray with her....quickly I responded "Absolutely" and walked outside holding her hand and prayed...prayed some more and then ended giving my Poppa to Jesus. She looked at me and said, "Erin, I find so much strength in you", quickly I corrected her and said, "I get it all from Jesus, so rest in that" and her response was one I will never ever forget...."Well, this Jesus is changing lives in this family".

And this is where I will end.