down and back

numb fingers with hot coffee

I'm sitting at a starbucks in the area and I am freezing my fingers off as I am typing, but for some reason I am still sitting where the air is blowing furiously down at me and loving every single sip of my decaf caramel macchiato...YUM! There is some pretty sweet music playing in the back ground, not to loud but I can make out the lyrics...great blogging setting, right! So, ever since my last post, I have been thinking about what my next one would be, trying to keep this and all of my thoughts up to date. I have been debating PA (Physician Assistant) school for a couple months now and like I said in my last post, I am excited about the confirmation I got. A new semester or chapter of my life that for some reason I get to glance at. I say that only because there are not many times as we are following the Lord that He is so gracious to let us see what we are looking at. I'm not saying that things wont change or that there won't be surprises in the mean time, but goodness known I am not stressing out about what is next.

I have been reading this blog for a couple days www.theologyforwomen.org/2011_05_01_archive.html , and I have been so encouraged by this woman. In one of her posts about a month ago, she was talking about singleness and how it is not ok to be alone. Now, I have my own thoughts about this aspect about it not being "good" for you because the Lord knows how much I have grown from not being in a relationship but she made a very important point that I wanted to share with you all, wherever you are in your faith, in your life, in your relationships...
"If there is a lesson to learn in your singleness, it's to stay engaged with God in the wrestling. It's not to put to death longings that are part of your very God-given nature. And it's not to disengage with God because He refuses to answer those longings. It's to stay engaged with Him, alternately crying out in longing and resting in peace in His arms, calling on Him at every moment to meet the physical, spiritual, and emotional needs exposed by your unfulfilled longing. "

So, take out the word singleness and enter in the "struggle" that you are going through...come on, how powerful and true is this statement in your life? I have been studying the book of Hosea with my life group and I have been so challenged with the aspect of relationships. It struggle is so obvious that the Israelites are having (funny side note: I just saw the absolutely most gorgeous guy standing by me...my heart fluttered- me being vulnerable- then I see the wedding ring...HA) anyway, so the first 10 chapters of Hosea shows this huge wrestling match, or everything other than a wrestling match because that takes effort on both sides, this shows God's unrelenting grace and pursuit of our hearts. The Israelites are throwing out burnt offerings and sacrifices like it is going out of style, but my goodness they cannot grasp that they are far from glorifying God in their actions, in their lives. Through this, the Lord led me to Proverbs 2 "My son, if you receive my words and treasure my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining you heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints." How crazy that this becomes one of the greatest examples of the pursuit of a relationship as I am studying one of the greatest pursuits in the Bible. In chapter 11 God then gives us the greatest revelation- He says, the more they were called, the more they walked away; He himself led them, he said with cords of kindness with the bands of love and he fed them. Then a couple verses later He says, "My heart recoils within me; my compassion grows warm and tender. I will not execute my burning anger; I will not again destroy Ephraim; for I am God and not a man, the Holy One in your midst, and I will not come in wrath." HE does not and will not give up on us for move away from us...good truth, goooooood truth.

Now my coffee is cold, what to do-what to do...I think go home :)

Seeking Confirmation

So, I know I haven't written in forever, but I think I am going to get back to it :) Just the other day I was taking part in a Bible study called, Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Schrier. GREAT study, so far and she made a really important point that hit me smack in the face. Most of the session was about the Holy Spirit and how this generation is "missing" the whole importance of this aspect of our faith. It is like a blank canvas to us, we just don't get it. So, near the end of the study she gives 5 M's of discerning the voice of God...I am thinking...wow this is the trick I have been missing for so long. 5 simple questions to ask myself when I am seeking an answer. But, something much more than that came to me as I was listening. The last M was, expecting the mercy of His confirmation. My thought: interesting...asking for confirmation; meaning we have already received an answer, but we are seeking more of a response. Hmmm, I am still caught up on this and if you read this (for some reason :)) let me know your thoughts! So as I am thinking about this, I start reflecting on what I am going through at the moment to see where this can be a thought. I think I was always taught and told that when the Lord speaks to you, and you recognize it (bc we all know sometimes we need an extra push), to act on it. I feel like if we are seeking confirmation then because we have already heard from the Lord then we are not acting. Don't get me wrong...I fully believe and understand that we need to make sure that we are discerning His voice apart from ours and others, but I kind of feel that it is questioning His answer to us.

Any who, throughout my mind going crazy about this whole thought process, I almost started laughing, I mean lets be real, I did start laughing out loud because the Lord totally gave me confirmation about going back to school. Now that is a whole other story, but how funny!

tell me what you think!