This Summer

WOW!!!!! This summer has absolutely flown by and I cannot believe it, but I am 20-freakin-2 now! HA I love it but dislike that fact that people now call me OLD...eh I think they are just jealous..right? Anyway- this summer has been so full of amazing things and in all of them I can see how the Lord has molded me and transformed my heart, mind, and soul. Right after school ended for the summer I got to fly up to get Michelle for Haiti. We had a 28 hour drive back to FL so we took some fun pictures :) Three weeks ago now I had the opportunity to lead a mission trip to Jeremie, Haiti.

I could sit here and blog about everything I experienced and the people I met, the stench, the scenery, what God taught me, and so much more and you would not even begin to understand the greatness of God on that trip! All I can say it- WOW GOD! Then last week was my 22nd Birthday and I was able to celebrate down in the Keys for Lobster season with some family and a friend of mine...too much fun! I could be out on a boat everyday and love every minute! Last night some of my great friend threw my first surprise birthday party for me ever! It was hillarious- because it started at 10pm and I was absolutely exhausted from the day, but they seemed to keep me awake when I thought I was getting to bed at 9:45pm that night...funny how that works :) I am so incredibly grateful and blessed to have the friends and family that I have...I hope you all know that I love you all so much and am beyond grateful for your friendship God has blessed us with. Honestly- when they surprised me last night I didn't have a reaction and I just kind of stood there is mere shock-but realized later that at that moment I wanted to cry- not at the fact that I was scared because I walked into a dark room with people screaming at me, but because these friend took so much time out of their day, money out of their pockets, to celebrate me? WOW, I have been so wrapped up in the idea of putting others before self and it was a clear picture to me last night. Tonight I got to celebrate with the Cabrera Family :) one of my fav's! It was wonderful to get to finally hang out with them (those people are on vacation every other day....) so, I came over and got to hang out with the kids for a while then enjoy dinner with Emily on my lap eating not the cake in front of her but my food...funny girl! I love her though, and my Max(ie) boy, and pretty much the greatest parents ever :) love you guys, thanks so much for a great night!

My Dad

So as we all know, Father's Day was yesterday and I was able to spend it with my Daddy!
I decided to make a list of things that I love about him and I don't know but just wanted to post about it...so here goes in no particular order..

1. HILLARIOUS! my Dad is so funny! I love how he can always make me laugh and cheer me up when I am down. We can laugh about any and everything and then when one of us chokes we laugh even harder. We love making my mom laugh like no one else is able to.

2. His encouragement- yes my Dad is hard on my sometimes, but He comes back with something encouraging all the time. Perfect example, yesterday we were taking out the trash and I said, "I love you Daddy, thanks for being you" and right away he came abck and just said, "I'm proud of you!'

3. Hugs!- hugs from my Dad are the Best! He knows how to give the most perfect hug ever!

4. His love- when He tells me He loves me- which is all the time, I just know in his voice that He is so sincere...

5. His perseverance- he has been through so much through the past couple years, losing his job a couple times, switching jobs, learning new jobs, finding new jobs, havinga stroke, etc. and he continues to push through all the time!

I would write more but my computer is going to DIE.....ahhhhh bye

1 John 1:8-10

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make hi out to be a liar and his word is not in us."

So since this whole revelation thing going on in this head/heart of mine I have been stuck on this passage in 1 John, pretty much all of chapter one. I know we have all probably read this many times but the first verse caught me like I have never read it before..."That which was from the BEGINNING" - the beginning, SERIOUSLY that is intense! The piece of scripture from the start of this post has been so incredibly encouraging to me-pretty much if we say we have no sin we are just ridiculous and are wrong AND to top that off the truth of God isn't present in our lives...then, it says, if we confess our sins, our God is faithful AND just AND will forgive us our sins AND purify us from ALL unrighteousness...OUR GOD IS SO AMAZING! I have not even begun to grasp this message, it is unreal, mind boggling, and explains why I have faith, believe and serve this mighty God!

Verse 5 of the same passage says that God is light, and in him there is NO darkness! Do you get this? NO darkness!!!!!!!! Before that it states something so particular and a huge part of this passage- "We say this to make our JOY complete". We are called to be joyful in EVERYTHING we do, how we act, etc. and this passage John is stating this to make our Joy complete, to rejoice in his goodness and love and grace that he pours uncontrollably over us.Dude- I don't know what you get from this, but I am in awe...

Who am I?

This is going to be all over the place, but try and stay with me...





(sorry for the size of the pictures) BUT- I began to think today about what my life looks like. I'm not trying to hide anything on here and I am going to be totally honest because God showed me a huge revelation today. I am so guilty of thinking I am better than others (doesn't matter who) and filling myself of pride. It broke me in half today reflecting on how self-centered my life is. I will tell you over and over again that I desire to be a woman of God, utterly and passionately in love with my Creator, but when I turn away, you could be so fooled by my pursuit. Now I understand that everyone has struggles and I once heard quote from I believe Beth Moore, "If you think you don't struggle with pride, then you are prideful." Harsh reality huh? At times I can say that I am on a "passionate pursuit of God" but recently it has been when I want to or when I can make time for it. I found myself tonight trying to do everything I could before spending time with Jesus-Laundry, biking, swimming, reading my Microbiology book, calling people to hang out, TV, etc. but I found myself face down on a towel outside my house crying out to God because I have become so lost and caught up in the world! BIG SURPRISE--NOT! How captivating the world can be, even with school. I am in a position right now where an A in micro is crucial to me Graduating...How the heck can I expect God to help me through it and "give me the desires of my heart" when I am not giving Him the time of day and not holding Him, MY GOD, as my greatest joy in life? It is what He calls us to do, "When you delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart" -Psalm 37:4. We focus, or at least I am guilty of being caught in the giving of desires of my heart and forgetting the delighting in the one who MADE me.

I realized that I had in a way lost myself, my identity, my motives-I could only ask, who am I? It is so sad that I let myself drift in a way I thought I had already conquered, but I think that was my first problem...thinking I had already gotten through it. From the pictures in the beginning- I can say that I am all of those at once right now. My heart is flooded with emotions and I am literally trembling and in utter fear of God. I am amazed at how BIG he is and that doesn't even hit close to a bulls eye of his massiveness. "Time after time you have been forgotten, you have ran after me, and I was still running away, but God you never give up on me, I am weak and you are strong, but you tell me I still belong, God you never give up on me..." those are the words running through my head right now.

I was out with some good friends the other night, one that I haven't seen in a while and He was talking about some friends up North. He began to explain this girl that he knows from school. He explained her as, "An absolutely beautiful girl because she is more in love with Jesus than anyone I know. She is so focused on Him and to glorifying Him that she acts and is totally content with treating this relationship she has with Jesus as her true husband." He said, "this just makes me want to be around her more"...

Oh God, forgive me. I am called to be the bride of Christ and to glorify you, and I have been everything but that. God you never give up on me and I know that is a promise, I have used your grace as a reason to turn the other way, but God will you lift me up from my fall? I am so weak God but you are strong! Make me your servant God, show me your heart. Lord my heart is in half right now not because your truth has hit me, but God it is because of your great love for me and how I can fall at your feet in repentance because of your insurmountable grace. Lead me to your cross...I am putting down my life- may you become greater and make me much less.

and you call me beautiful...

I've been waiting
For a hero who's brave and strong-
Someone to love me,
Someone to tell me I belong,
So I pretend I'm satisfied,
And I stand watching on the sidelines,
Till You pull me into the light
And say, "It's Your turn now,
Welcome to your life!"

(Chorus)
And You call me beautiful,
And say You've loved me all along,
And You've always held the keys to unlock my soul
Oh You call me beautiful

There's a smile on my face,
And a brand new light in my eyes,
It's a new day,
And I've never felt so alive-
I feel as if I could conquer anything,
Oh thats what Your love has done for me,
And now all I want to be,
Is everything You want me to be-

(Chorus)
And You call me beautiful,
And say You've loved me all along,
And You've always held the keys
To unlock my soul, But I didn't know-
Now I can finally start to live,
Take those chances I have missed,
Things will be much different,
Now that I know
You call me beautiful

(Bridge)
The story is better than I could dream after all,
Now this is reality
To know You and to hear You call me beautiful
Call me beautiful-
Now I can finally start to live,
Take those chances I have missed,
Things will be much different,
Now that I know-
Now that I know
You call me beautiful

Ginny Owens - call me beautiful

Perfect Love

I have climbed the platform of my ambition. The flight of steps leads toward my dreams and aspirations. I know for sure this is the place God has called me to. Every path has led in this direction. Every counsel has affirmed His plan. Every path has led in this direction. Every counsel has affirmed His plan. Friends have climbed steps with me. Others have prayed me up from down below.

Finally, I am at the top and I can see the unfolding vista of God's design. This is not the end, but the first of many platforms to come. It has taken so long to climb this one, and I get to the top with aching muscles, a little out of breath. But fear has climbed with me. He is laughing at my aches and pains. He says that I should be in better shape if I'm going to get to the next platform. He makes me feel worthless. He leans into my weakness and pushes every button.

I stand at the top of my calling, listening tho the doubts that surround me. I decided to talk it through. Ask a few more people. Weigh each fear and discuss the implications. Maybe I should do more research. Maybe I don't deserve this now. Maybe I should go back down the steps and rethink the whole thing. Fear has raised some good issues.

But a gentle voice calls to me. It is the most confident voice I have ever heard. He is not impatient. He is not flustered. I sounds like He is speaking to me through a smile. He is calm and assured. He is strong and persuasive.

Perfect love yells to me, "(Erin), you are tied on. I promised. This is the place I have led you to. This is exactly the right time. You are not a weak-willed woman anymore because you are desperate for Me. Tell fear to step aside. Trust Me. I have you. Now, shut up and jump."


Jesus, you have me...my heart is yours and I will not be shaken.

HE is in control....

WELL long time- so my last post being about exams....HA!
All of my exams have been really great! Except one- HUGE
prayer request!

So friday the 12th I go to take my last final- I was feeling
so confident and excited to be done with this semester. Well,
I go to find it on my online call and it's not there! Gone!
Come to find out I was suppose to take it the friday before on
the 5th. What professor has an exam 2 weeks before exam week?
AHHH! Anyways, please please please pray for me about this...
it's a very sticky situation...but I have peace and I know that
God is in control.